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Staunton Spectator: March 10, 1868

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Impeachment
(Column 01)
Summary: The editors write that the impeachment of Johnson is a terrible mistake for the Republican party. They argue that the party is using impeachment without just cause and only as a partisan tool to impose their will. They predict that the people will judge the Republicans harshly for this mistake, whether Johnson is convicted or not.
Full Text of Article:

The Radicals will find that they have made a woful mistake in their impeachment of the President. The New York Herald, in our opinion, expresses the proper view when it says, as it does in its issue of the 2nd inst., that if impeachment is necessary to assert the majesty of the law and to guard the threatened liberties of the people from the encroachments of ambitious power in the person of the President, Congress deserves well of the nation for impeaching him; but if it be not necessary, if the law is not in danger, if there is neither the fact of crime nor a criminal intent, and if this great final appeal is made only in the interest of a partisan quarrel, then to have made it and to have agitated the nation and stirred up dangers of every sort against our tranquility is such a wrong that the law has hardly put in the hands of the people a punishment adequate to the office; for an abuse of power of impeachment is as great a crime as any that impeachment was intended to punish or prevent.

Is Congress abusing this power? Is it bringing a great constitutional process into contempt by appealing to it where there is no cause? Is it unnecessarily disturbing the public peace? -- Is it striking at the President for doing things for which the law gives him full power? Congress admits and publishes to the world that it is doing all this. It reiterates in every form of phrase and with all particulars the declaration of its own offence. Every line of its ten articles makes a boast of its guilt before the nation. -- Its ten articles of impeachment make nothing so clear as that impeachment has not a sound foot to stand upon -- that it is only the insane dream of men who, in indulging an intense party passion, have driven away from them the guides of reason and judgment; of men who, having acquired the arrogant habit in Congress of forcing their will on a feeble majority, have forgotten that there is no previous question to cut off debate before the people, and who therefore are now in a fair way to find out that there is after all a difference between an extravagantly one sided view of the law and the law itself. It matters not what happens in the Senate, for the case is before the people, and they will judge it on the disproportion between the offences charged and the remedy sought -- on the utter want of wisdom, moderate counsel, and patriotic purpose of the republican party. If impeachment go through the Senate, it will destroy the republican party before the country; for the American people will not be dragged at the heels of an organization governed by the failing intellect and vindictive spirit of Old Thad Stevens. If impeachment fail in the Senate, it will only add to the decision of the people against the representatives the weight of the Senatorial judgment to the same effect.


Judge Chase Dissents
(Column 02)
Summary: The paper praises Chief Justice Chase for dissenting from Republican action on impeachment.
Jas. C. Southall's Speech
(Column 02)
Summary: Offers praise for Jas. C. Southall's speech "on the question of negro suffrage", made before the State Constitutional Convention. Urges the reader to consider what would have happened, had Fred S. Tukey been chosen as a representative in Southall's place, and expresses disagreement with Southall for his statements supporting emancipation.
Full Text of Article:

We expressed in our last week's issue our commendation of the speech, made in the Convention on the question of negro suffrage by Mr. Jas. C. Southall, the representative from the District composed of the counties of Augusta, Albemarle, and Louisa. We publish the speech in full on our first page this week, and hope that none of our readers wil fail to read it. We are sure that they will concur in the opinion that it is an admirable speech. It is a carefully prepared and finely finished production. Read it and then think of what we would have gained by having Fred. S. Tukey for our representative (?) in the place of Mr. Southall. Such comparisons are, indeed, odious. It is not complimentary to Southall to say that he is to Tukey as Hyperion to Satyr, and, in such a comparison, we do not detract from Tukey's just merits. The former has risen to a commanding height, the latter has sunk to the plummet's lowest depth

While we admire Mr. Southall's speech for its eloquence and beauty, and its able argument in opposition to negro suffrage, we do not endorse all the sentiments expressed in it. Our kindness to the negroes prevents us from rejoicing at their emancipation, for we think that emancipation, effected as it was, is the greatest curse which ever befell their race.


Disfranchisement with a Vengeance
(Column 02)
Summary: The article denounces the Virginia State Constitutional Convention for disfranchsing all Confederates who served above the rank of first lieutenant. Such a move would go even further than the federal government.
Democratic Protest Against the Arbitrary Rule of the Radical Majority in Congress
(Column 03)
Summary: The paper prints a statement from Democrats in Congress denouncing what they call arbitrary rule by the Republican majority.

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[No Title]
(Column 01)
Summary: A series of tableaus and charades will be presented at Middlebrook for the benefit of the town church.
Staunton Thespians
(Column 01)
Summary: The Staunton Thespians will give their first and only performance of the season. They will present the play "Catharine Howard, Or the Bride of Death."
A Pleasant Party
(Column 01)
Summary: The students of Mr. Plume's dancing school hosted a party for the ladies and gentlemen of Staunton. A quadrille and an English Maypole dance were particularly pleasant attractions.
(Names in announcement: Mr. Plume)
Staunton Lyceum
(Column 01)
Summary: The Staunton Lyceum debated whether or not there is sufficient reason to believe in the national restoration of the Jews. Capt. James Bumgardner, Rev. J. A. Latane, and Col. George Baylor argued in the affirmative; Y. Howe Peyton and Col. Bolivar Christian in the negative. It was decided in the affirmative by a vote of 9 to 3. The next topic of discussion will be whether or not banks of discount help more than hurt a community. Col. George Baylor and Dr. A. M. Fauntleroy will speak in the affirmative; J. B. Peyton and S. Travers Phillips in the negative.
(Names in announcement: Capt. James Bumgardner, Rev. J. A. Latane, Col. George Baylor, Y. Howe Peyton, Col. Bolivar Christian, Col. George Baylor, Dr. A. M. Fauntleroy, J. B. Peyton, S. Travers Phillips)
Augusta County Bible Society
(Column 01)
Summary: The Augusta County Bible Society met in the Presbyterian Church where a permanent constitution was presented. Officers were chosen with Judge H. W. Sheffey serving as president. Resolutions were passed to begin fundraising, start communication with like-minded groups, and commence canvassing the county to bring bibles to the poor.
(Names in announcement: John Wayt, P. B. Hoge, Col. George Baylor, H. W. Sheffey, Rev. J. A. Latane, Rev. W. E. Baker, Rev. J. I. Miller, J. L. Clarke, Rev. George B. Taylor, George P. Baker, J. Addison Waddell, John A. English, J. C. Wheat, Gen. John Echols, D. W. Drake, David E. Strasburg, Samuel J. Baird)
Marriages
(Column 04)
Summary: John W. Cook and Miss Elvira M. Stover, both of Augusta, were married on March 5th by the Rev. H. Tallhelm.
(Names in announcement: John W. Cook, Elvira M. Stover, Rev. H. Tallhelm)
Deaths
(Column 04)
Summary: Mrs. Sarah Cullen, wife of G. G. Cullen, died on February 28th. She was 62 years old. "The deceased in early life professed faith in Christ and united herself with the Evangelical Lutheran Church and adorned her profession by a consistent walk and conversation. She was patient during her protracted illness, resigned and hopeful in her death, trusting in a Savior's blood. The very large concourse who attended her funeral showed that her worth was in a manner appreciated."
(Names in announcement: Sarah Cullen, G. G. Cullen)

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Rules for Courting
(Column 01)
Summary: A satire, in which John Quill lays forth ten rules for a successful courtship, and relates some humorous anecdotes from his own experience with courting.
Full Text of Article:

By John Quill.

Having had much experience in the science of Courting, I have determined herewith to lay down some definite rules for the guidance of my 'young friends.' You see I had a good many unsuccessful courts before I met my wife - the females whom I loved having gone emphatically back on me. But, bless you, did it harm me? No, it didn't. I was benefited thereby, and when I met my wife I knew the ropes, and gathered up my affections, made one fell swoop on her heart, and the door thereof banged wide open and let me in. I will give you the rules and shed the sunny light of illustration upon them from my own life :

1st. Never go courting the girl's parents.--You'd better edge up to the charmer at once; for you can't marry her if you don't try, unless she wants you, and you may be able to, even if the old folks are hard on you.

2nd. By all means get the girl's ma down on you as much as possible. If the old lady is always blowing against you, the little dear begins to take your part, and can't help loving you.

I did this way, and my present mother-in-law used to throw brooms and washboards at me, and teach the dog to bite me in the trowsers as I climbed over the fence.

3rd. If you see any others prowling about, always euchre them if you can. If you see one of them buy tickets for a concert, go up and make an engagement with her and get your tickets afterwards but when they visit the house always act as if you were at home and they were only visitors, and never leave first.

4th. If the old man has worldly wealth express a dislike to greenbacks, and a hankering after love in a small house.

5th. If you are long in the parlor, you may sometimes try if your arms fit well on her waist.

I tried this once, and called forth a piercing scream, which induced her big pap and two brothers to chuck me down the stairs. So you be careful.

6th. When you inquire if she will have you, don't fall on your knees. It is ridiculous, besides being rough on trowsers. Just take her hand and speak out like a man.

I behaved similarly to this to a female, and said to her:

"Will you be mine?"

"She replied rather abruptly.

"Not much, I won't!"

It's likely that she was a little timid, but I did not care about pursuing the subject any further.

7th. When you are engaged, don't go off like an old jackass and begin buying teaspoons and washboilers, and candles. It is very unwise, and excites comment.

8th. If a girl refuses you, don't give it up, but try again. Because two negatives make one affirmative in grammar, don't consider yourself accepted when a girl jilts you twice.

I asked one female forty-one times, and at last she got to expect it when I came, and would sometimes holler out 'No,' from the top of the stairs, before I got fairly into the house.

9th. Kiss all the children in a house, even if they are dirty, and smear molasses candy in your hair. Let the boy play horse with you and make a fool of you generally. This always works. It's a trump card if you play it right.

10th. And, finally, if there are two sisters and the old one is jealous, get someone to choke her off, while you go in for the younger.

I did that once, and used to get a friend to ask the senior out for the evening, but she found me out, and used to arrange her hairpins in the sofa cushions before she went out, so that it was extremely uncomfortable.

Thus it will be seen that when courtship is alluded to, I am right there. If any further information is wanted, send me a letter enclosing fifty cents, and I will cheerfully give it.


Subscription to Chesapeake and Ohio R. R.
(Column 02)
Summary: "A Farmer" responds to E. Fontaine on the wisdom of subscribing to the stock of the Valley Railroad. He maintains that if the county does so, the people of Augusta will have to pay for the bonds with heavy taxation.