Augusta: Amanda C. Armentrout to William F. Brand,
June 3, 1866
Summary:
Kate pleads with Willie to forgive her while recounting the story of the Biblical
serpent who led good Christians astray and away from the Lord. She says that she
was wrong to accuse Willie of acting wrongly by operating a distillery and
drinking.
June 3rd 1866
Rose Dale
My dear Sweet brother
I received your very dear letter of 24 last Wednesday never was a letter read
with more interest than that; it found me enjoying the best of health one of our
dear Saviours best blessing (but how unworthy am I
for it) I can say dear brother that I was truly glad to hear from you &
do thank my heavenly Father that he put it in your dear good heart to write
Willie dear boy I have wronged you will you forgive me I believe I have found
forgiveness in the dear Lord but will you forgive for I have been the cause of
all this trouble Oh dear brother it will kill me if you don't forgive; just to think that I am the cause of my dear bossom companions being lost, eternally lost. Oh my dear dear Saviour
pity & forgive for I will give you my life for
the salvation of that dear soul yes dear brother I will spend & be spent
for you though the more abundantly I love you the less I be loved; I deserve
nothing but your hatred & contempt can I ever be happy again not until I see the dear one changed yes a Christian.
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Yes my dear brother if you allow me to call you thus last year you
started out with prospects bright & alluring & these were your words Kate I am going to make or
break & for whom for what for an unworthy creature as I (me) that did not deserve the notice of a
cat let alone the notice of one so pure so noble so good at heart as thou all
went on well prospect bright & [unclear: brighning] grain came
in on every side I must surely be the happiest man
living. Oh is this not flattering it is (like) an ideal lover or will be soon
but hark I hear a noise & in come a fine looking old gent ([added: Ah] the serpent coils in eden bows) Well Mr B
don't you want to go in partnership with me you will make money at
it; at what why having your grain distilled I won't go I must make my money some other way my good heart
& God says I must not go Ah come don't listen at that you will make enough soon to get
married Ah that is charming well I must wait a while & yes I must go
& see K & see what she says about it Pa
& K both oppose don't care so much for Pa but K
is the one he lays it all out in flattering terms she said do as you please & Mr B says at
last consented & his word goes as far as mine with with me &
farther too; he goes back but conscience &
Pa says
don't go but I am doing it
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for K when he gets
back serpent enters what say you well I don't know I
believe I will; well lets draw the article but we must have a dram first no I
don't indulge her come going in do such business
& don't last & yourself besides you have
a cough & it will help it; well K told me to take something for my cough & that is the very thing any thing for
K all done for K. come Mr B there is a party a head tonight lets go no I don't care about it I just got a leter from K &
she is very cold & indifferent she is always writing something about
some nice fellow or her dear friend R that I don't
believe she thinks as much of me as she ought I will
go & a way he goes come Mr B join in the dance I can't come ah well I
will K is perhaps having her fun I will too drove away
sorrow Mr B you are very lively to night but it is all put on what is the matter
with you well I will tell you I fear my first love is blasted Oh my dear her
then thou only knows the agony of that dear heart. Soon the serpent goes to K he
has done his will with B he tell her that B has got to drinking she writes a
hasty & insulting letter & it insults & wounds B says I don't care I will go & see her & quit her at once I
have done all this for her & this is the thanks I got he comes but love
& pity enters that good heart I will tell her
all my bad deeds & she will
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turn me off but instead it bound
her nearer to him & what next the serpent is at work he tells K much & she believes & what is the
consequence God knows she suffers for it but
is she alone no no Oh she ought to be she deserves it all & more but enough of this.
My dear brother I take up your letter to read it & how must I write can I answer it you have used candor you don't love me & can I blame you Oh you hate me what must I do Oh my dear Jesus won't thou help me and direct me Willie won't you try to love me if I be a better girl you asked me once to try & love you & I did. brother you may you have been laughed at & ridiculed here lately for your indifference for company; well you are not alone for I have been all that & more scolded & threatened to be whipped for it & what is it for not for the worldly happiness of any one but it is for the salvation of a dear soul the one who I have been the cause of being lost what is worldly happiness compared with this eternity how long Oh how long shall we not meet in heaven where there are no changes no sin & sorrow known Oh my dear brother meet Oh meet me there.
Billie you say you fear the consequences of marrying when your affections are not settled, I acknowledge I am not smart but do you think for one moment that I would marry a man that did not love me no I never expect to find one that really does therefore I expect to remain single & try & make myself useful to my fellow creatures one mans happiness is enough for me to destroy I have sown my wild oats & now I expect to live a resigned life though it may be very short yes soon I may sleep beneath the say but I can say with a thankful heart Oh death where is they sting A grave where is thy victory but enough
Midie
