Augusta: Amanda C. Armentrout to William F. Brand,
July 6, 1866
Summary:
Kate apologizes to Willie and pleads with him to forgive her for what she has
said in the past. She references Job when discussing the travails she has
withstood in the face of community scrutiny regarding how she has treated
Willie.
Mr. William F. Brand
Alone
Rockbridge Co
Virginia
July 6th 1866
Rose Dale
My dear sweet brother
I received your very dear letter several weeks ago & can say some part of
it made me very happy; I take this leisure hour to respond but how must I respond not knowing whether
my letters are welcome or not but hoping they are I will try & interest
you. My health is very good & I must not murmur of my happiness for my dear Father only knows what I have borne;
the chastening rod has been severe but I rejoice in Christ that he has been with me or this
feeble frame would have sunk beneath the rod. yes
brother you know nothing when the last earthly friend
forsakes you then & not till then will you know (what) what this sister of yours has borne I have felt that I was like
Job forsaken by all but thank God he has never
forsook me I hope you will never know what it is to be forsaken by all for there is one that
[page 2]
I don't think will ever forsake you no never
I will still remember thee. I hope ere this letter
reaches you that you may be enjoying the best blessing that God ever bestowed on
man & that is religion for it is the chief
[unclear: unsorn] of mortals here below & our only [added: sure] happiness what would I have done if it
had not been for it. cast down forsaken by all but God I ask what would I have
done I know not. brother are you happy I ask the question I hope to get an
answer from you personally soon if you are not let
me as a sister tell you where I fear you are wrong you
said in you letter you had heard response from old
Angus; that has caused
your cheek to light up with anger dear bro do you think
that is right for you to let that anger rise what does our bible teach us not to
get angry at those that persecute us. let me here cast a verse or two.
"Wherefore my beloved bro let every man be swift to
hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man work Ah not the
righteousness of God you must lay a side all such things & received with meekness the engrafted word will change
any dear dear Willie if he has not
[page 3]
which is able to save your soul". note brother I do not think you have heard any
thing compared to what I have heard but thank God it did not make me angry it
made me pray for those that talked about me & you & treat them
kindly & I feel that God will help me to live right though my
temptations are great do pray for me that I may be able to withstand all these
trials.
You said in your letter that you knew that my conscience did not reprove me for what I had done to you with out it was
for loving you Oh Willie you are cruel to think that my conscience (would) would reprove me for that which God has put in my
heart did I not love another or have you forgotten; & did I not pray to
God to change me if it was his will & how soon did the change come I do
not remember of ever having one regret let alone [added: reproof] of conscience for loving you no I believe that it will all work together for
our good I rejoice brother that I have more confidence in you this day than I have had for many months for God is able to change our enemies if we trust him & I believe that he already I am resigned
to his will what ever that be
[page 4]
My conscience never told me that I had done the wrong but most every person told
me so & I wrote to you to know if it was so & you made no reply
so I thought I would confess & see if that (would) would clear me just
so you don't blame me I care not for others. You say let
the past be forgotten can you forget it I will join with you in improve the
future; but are you [added: we] doing it I hear you
have quit the distillery & then I heard for
a short time that you would go on if you had grain brother where is conscience does not the cry of some poor little child
cry for bread move your heart when you put that grain in the hopper to crush Ah
perhaps that father has spent his wages this day for the liquor that you have
sold & that dear little one is crying for
bread Oh dear brother can't I persuade you to to reflect
for one moment if you can & think then go on if you are going to improve
the future commerce now not for my sake do I ask you to do it but for you own;
now brother don't let this make your cheek flush with
anger but forgive me if I do any do it with the best of motives for your future
happiness. dear brother it grieves me very much to
think that you came home & did not come to see me but perhaps Walker did
not tell you that I wished to see you I am very anxious to see you &
hope you will come at the reception of this letter I was told last Sabbath by a friend that they thought you was afraid to
meet me Oh Willie what have I done have I committed murder that any one should
shun me or fear me & especially the one that was once my best friend
brother I think it would be best for us to meet the sooner the better cant you
take time enough to spend a day or night I do assure
you I shall not hurt you I will treat you as a sister
would a brother & I wish to have a talk with you not injure you or hurt
you I will avoid every thing that will go to hurt or
won't in the least now don't
let it be said that as brave a man as you have been is afraid of a girl let me ask you to come for my sake as soon as you get
this so that may not make people talk I have much to right but will wait
& tell you when you come I will tell you all about the
[unclear: infare] when you you come please excuse all imperfections
yours as ever
Kate
Accept my best wishes for your future happiness
Midie
