Augusta County: Mary Anna Sibert to David H. Evans,
February 6, 1868
Summary:
Sibert reports on family matters and discusses the nature of her love for
Evans.
Feb. 6 1868
Mt Solon, Va.
My Dear David
Here I am all alone with the delightful pleasure of answering your dear &
truly welcome letter of Tuesday I was so glad & thankful to get it
& to hear that you were well. Every line written by your dear hand is
sacred, & valued I wish from my heart that you were here this Evening
for it has been such a long time since you were with me. I looked for you last
Saturday. I thought you would certainly come, & stay all week I did want
you to come so much but your letter Explained it all why you could not come
then. I am so glad you are coming Saturday if you live I hope the day will be as
bright & pleasant as this has been then you will have a nice ride. You
can't imagine how much pleasure it gave me to have you say you never doubted my
affection for you. it is such a relief to me to know that you safely trust
& believe in my love, for I do so entirely give you my heart with all
its affection that were a
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thought to enter my mind that you for one
moment doubted me I should be very unhappy. Then never think that I do not love
you, & nothing but a wish from you can Ever change my devotion,
& were you even to wish that I should cease to love or think of you I
could not obey you, but would love you to my dying day Even without hope. it is
far better suited to my nature to love & remember than to hate, & forget those once dear to me. You must never ask
me not to love you for I do firmly believe that if
you should cease to love me & would not want my love that my heart would
break, & I would not wish to live without your dear & most
precious love for it is the brightest sweetest & best beloved joy of my
life to feel sure of your undivided & entire affection. I never want to
think that you have Ever loved anyone but me nor that
you ever will love another while I live. it is my nature to be selfish in my
love I can't help it either. try as I may to be more generous I can't that is
just the truth. in very
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truth I can't bear to think that anyone should fill your heart & thoughts but
myself. I know no one does for your word is law
to me I believe the slightest word you ever utter for I know that you are
sincere to me in all things you say or do, & it would be both unkind
& cruel of me to doubt, or not to believe you since you have always been
so truthful, & frank.
Ma, & I received letters from Rennie today she & her husband were well. Rennie write
that she loves him more & more every day of her life. says he is such a
good husband. I am truly thankful that they are so happy & they can
always be so if they will. Ma got a letter from dear pa Tuesday. we are still
lonely without him Rennie wants to know when I am coming to stay with her. I
don't know indeed when I can go, bless her heart I must go some time before
long. Hamie has come in to intrude upon my quiet with his studies for tomorrow.
We had a great time at dinner he wanted to make me read Rennie's letter out to
him & I wanted him to read it to himself. for awhile I refused
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but at last I read it [illeg.] rest Oh! I do want to see you. I can't
wait with any patience for [illeg.] long days to pass away before you
can come. it is so long long since you bid me Goodbye.
I shall be so glad, thankful & happy to have you here again to look at
you, & to hear you talk, to see you throw back your dear curly head
& shake your foot, but I don't like to see you look grave, &
unhappy, for then I think that I have done something to displease you, &
that I don't want to do, for I do love to add to your happiness. I never wish to
give you one moment's pain, or to displease you about
anything. I love you more & more Every
day of my life with all my heart, strength, mind & thoughts I love you & you only,
& Ever shall It seems that I can't find words enough to tell you how
dearly I love you. Come Saturday if you live I long so much for you to come I
will show you then how happy I am to have you with me again. I hope God will let
you come to one He knows loves you more than her own
life. I do hope the fire will be burning brightly this time when you come. I
will see that it is warm & sweet for you so you can feel happy &
at home. All send love. I enclose love & a kiss to you. God bless you
forever. come Saturday. I love you Oh! so fondly Goodnight
Yours
Mollie Sibert
