Augusta County: Francis W. McFarland to Mary
McFarland Lewis, July 4, 1864
Summary:
Francis McFarland, Jr. writes to his sister Mary his feelings at the death of
their brother, Robert.
July 4, 1864
Richmond Virginia
My very dear Sister,
I received your letter of June 25th instant on Friday evening, while Cousin Lizzie received her same date on Monday. I have written a number of letters home since I last heard some or all of which I hope you have received ere this.
I rode out Friday to find poor Robert's grave. It is in a very quiet place, not on the battlefield, but at the foot of a walnut tree near the house of Mrs Starke. He is buried beside Colonel Terrell. The lady at the House said she intended to have the graves enclosed as soon as it could be done. Cousin Lizzie & every one else seem to think that the [deleted: body] remains had better not be moved until they are to be taken home.
I have never experienced such a blow as his death; I
could do nothing for several days. I loved him to the exclusion of nearly all
else, and
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that he returned my devotion in full measure, I well know.
He alone had my confidence and he alone never blamed me. I had feared his fall
for I knew how brave he was and any one who has seen the rain of death missiles
on a battlefield will wonder more that any escape than that any particular one
was killed, yet I had hoped he would escape.
When I saw him in the army, we had a great deal of conversation, he seemed to
have no fear of death at all, and said he was ready and willing to meet any
emergency; still he would talk of what we would do after the war. Poor dear boy,
I have often said and felt, and now, more than ever, that if I saw death coming
towards him I would gladly push
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him aside and plant myself in his
footsteps that he might be saved rather than I. I would gladly have fallen in
his place. He used to put his arms around me and tell me how much he loved me
and show me the mug that I had given him years before & how he had [deleted: left] held on to it & prized it. [deleted: above
all] And to think he was killed, it was too too hard. He told me much of what he intended to
do for you & that I must attend to his matters if he should be killed
& carry out his plans as far as I could. Which I shall certainly do. The
day that Dr Brown got word that the body had been found I was not at congress,
nor the office. I did not feel like work & had paid a man to write the
proceedings for me. Dr B. only had an hour & a half's ticket
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and in that time could not find me, though he looked for me. I had gone to a
friends house for rest & have quiet. As soon as it is practicable I will
have the body taken home.
I will go home as soon as possible. I had fully expected to have gotten off today, but my business keeps me here. I have suffered more with neuralgia for the last six weeks, than for many [deleted: weeks] months past. And lost time in consequence.
I rejoice that the Yankees did [unclear: harm] so little home, though
they have been such a scourge [unclear: with] lately. I had
[unclear: enclosed] the daily Enquirer the set of some two months
ago & supposed it was going, but it seemed the necessary direction had been lost. I found the Sentinel had been
stopped, but had it continued. I started over to Chimborazo Hospital yesterday
(Sunday) to find John Wright, but had to turn back, not being
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able
to walk over. I went up last night & saw Dr Voden, surgeon in charge of
one of the Divisions & he will find him if he is there, and tell me this
evening. I will write immediately, if he is found.
John Humphreys is in Albemarle. Tell William I will write him today or tomorrow.
I grieve to hear of Mary Lou's sickness, do hope it will be of short duration. I have done all in my power to get a letter to James, but it is impossible to do so. I will write to some friends North & tell them that he is in Fort Delaware. I can send letters through to persons living North, but not to a prisoner of War.
[deleted: With usual]
I hope Father has recovered his strength ere this. With much love to all
Yours affectionately
F.W. McFarland
I wrote a notice of Roberts death in the "Enquirer", which I send you.
