Augusta County: Mary Anna Sibert to David H. Evans,
June 4, 1868
Summary:
Sibert expresses her disappointment that Evans cannot visit this weekend, and
warns him of the dangers of too great a love for money. She also discusses
family news.
Mt. Solon, Virginia,
June 4, 1868,
My Dear David,
Your dear & welcome letter of the 2nd came safely & gave me pleasure to hear that you were well--but brought with a sore disappointment the news that you are not coming Saturday. I was deeply disappointed & if I did not know that very important & urgent business detained you from me, I should be most unhappy by not seeing you for the long dreary time of four weeks, but I know my love that nothing but what was very important & necessary would keep you away so long.
I wondered when I read your letter how I could ever wait another week, &
how I ever did live, & be happy, & satisfied without you
& your dear love for me. when I think of your affection, &
devotion for me I am the happiest being on Earth, & there is not on all
the Earth any pleasure so sweet, & dear to me as being with you,
& when you are away from me the time seems so long & dull until
you came again. My heart feels as if it had lost its only happiness when I bid
you Goodby, a happiness I cannot find in any thing
until you come
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back to me, & the pleasures I once found at
home with its dear ones are nothing to me when compared to the pleasure I feel
when you are with me. it is very natural as you are of all living the dearest,
& best beloved of my heart & Soul. dearer to me then my dear kind pa, & ma, Sisters, & brother
& should I not be the happiest, & best satisfied when I have you
with me my love, & I feel that I could give every
thing & all in the world up better then part from you just so entirely & devotedly I love you. I
may be mistaken in every thing but my devotion to
you of that I am as sure as I know that we all must some day die. just so sure
do I know that I love you more then all on Earth,
& loving you as I do my greatest desire, & happiness is to be
with you. you must never be surprised that I so often cry when you leave me, for
I feel then as if your own dear hands were robbing my heart of all its comfort,
& happiness when you raise them to say Goodby, & I have so often
put my hands away from yours as if I thought that could keep you from going. Oh!
any & all things to say farewell to but you.
I wish you were only here to day. it seems like months
since I saw you last, & you can't come this week. Oh I wish you could,
can't
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you? I shall be so much disappointed if you do not come, but I
will not be angry, or offended with you my love for I well know that you know
your own business the best. I shall be disppointed & lonely without you, but will wait with a patient,
hopefull, & loving heart until you can
come then your dear head & heart will be free from thinking that you did
not attend to your business affairs as you would like to do before you come. I
am very very selfish in my love for you. one reason why I hope so earnestly that
you will never love money as most of people do for
then you would not love me as I want to be loved by you. All the good, great
wealth can do is to make the poor & needy happy. it takes very little to
make us truly happy, & contented in this life, & the more we
gather riches, the more we gather trouble, & sorrow. I have often
thought that generally much wealth takes away all tender & holy
affections from the heart of both ladies & gentlemen. they love their
money so well that there is room in their Souls for nothing else & so
they can't love with a pure true devotion those who live only for this love
& they who love would give all the wealth of the world for a return of
their affection. If money does not make people happy then it is far better to
have none I think. I have
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not written this homily on riches because I
think you are one of its devotees. no! I have placed you far above such in the
highest, & noblest wishes of manhood you stand far above them in the
shrine of my heart, so far above that they cannot reach you to drag you down to
their level of money love. I love you more then all the
money in the world & if some one were to
offer millions to me if I would give up your love I should be angry with one who
could value my love for you so little that I would part with it for all the
wealth of Earth. I cannot be bought for gold. love has this only power over
me--I do wish I could see you to day & hope I
will get a letter from you tomorrow telling me you will come Saturday for I do
want you to come. There is to be a select
Pic Nic on Castle Hill Saturday. our family are to be
of the party. will have fine eating, & fine music by the "B__ band"
soft, & sweet strains of melody. I have not yet consented to go, for to
be truthful I do not care to go where you cannot be with me. I could not be
contented, or happy or make myself agreeable to others so I do certainly think
it best for me to remain at home. I should like to have been with you at the
Fair. We miss dear pa, & Hamie so much. John [unclear: Town]
told me you scolded him for not sending your letter last Tuesday he seemed to
think you did right to scold him but said it was not his fault. I believe John
is a friend of yours indeed.
Do come Saturday if you can possibly do so I am so anxious & impatient to see your dear face. it is so hard to wait another long week. I feel as if I can't & that I must see you soon, or I cannot bear it. All send love. I send a loving kiss & all my love to you. My heart is sad waiting for you to come. May God bless you for you are dear to my Soul & heart. Come my love.
Yours
Mollie Sibert
If you do not come write to me Tuesday
