Augusta County: Clinton Hatcher to Mary Anna Sibert, September
13, 1861
Summary:
Clinton Hatcher reassures Mary Sibert that he finds her letters very interesting. He mentions
the strictness of camp rules, his wish to march to Maryland and Washington soon, and his desire
to shoot southern traitors, especially those he formerly called friends. He also discusses love
and devotion and longs for Sibert's company.
Sept. 13 th 1861
Camp Johnson
Dear Miss Mary,
I have been absent from camp for nearly two weeks on business for the company and on my return yesterday morning found one of your long, interesting letters awaiting me. I do not know how you can ever doubt that they are acceptible to me. I may sometimes fail to answer in a manner which will show the appreciation of them which I really feel but the fault would be in myself did I not appreciate them most highly. I had heard of your intelligence and many merits before I ever saw you and though my expectations were high they were not at all disappointed when I knew you. I hate flattery above all things and rarely compliment any one no matter how much they may deserve it for fear that they may misunderstand me, but I think you know me too well to think that I would stoop to flattery and therefore I have ventured to express my thoughts so candidly. Please dont misunderstand me. I felt quite complimented at your missing a ride on the Lake to write to me and can assure you that your letters always prove as acceptable as you could possibly wish them to be.
I am glad to hear that you think of me and I can assure you that it will often cheer me
amidst
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the hardships of the camp. I can never be happy without some one to sympathise with me and care for me,
some congenial spirit that I can love with an ardor of which less impulsive temperments can
never conceive. You are very much mistaken about my enjoying myself better here than I would in
Augusta, that would be impossible; many of the fairest castles which I had built in the air and
there are few, indeed none over which I mourn so much as I do that my visit to Mount Solon must
be indefinitely postponed. I really envy Chum the pleasure he enjoys of seeing you even
occasionally. It must necessarily be so long before I can see you again that perhpas before
that time some more fortunate one may before that, have secured your heart and what is worse
because more hopeless have secured your hand. But you are tired and may be even disgusted with
this [unclear: strain]. I was at Warrenton among other places last
[unclear: week] and as that brought me nearer you I could hardly resist the temptation
to neglect the business on which I had come and go on to Augusta.
Do not think from the tone of my letters that I am low spirited, far from it. I made up my mind when I joined the army that the only way for me to survive the [unclear: campaine] was to be always lively. I keep busy all the time and do not suffer myself ever to get the blues.
The camp laws are unusually strict now, we cannot pass the sentinals at all without a
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written permit from the Col. One of our men was arrested yesterday within a mile of
camp by the cavalry and taken to head quarters, so you see we are confined very strictly. Then
we can't get any thing to read here. You can't imagine how much it delights me to get a long
sweet letter from some valued friend.
I hope we will march into Maryland soon. I want to be doing something besides living on stale bread and tough meat and drilling all the time; besides we will need winter quarters before long and I had rather winter in Washington than in any other place under the sun. I want too to get a shot at several renegade southerners I know there; one of them an old class-mate of mine.
We have plenty of peaches here now but unfortunately can't get any cream. I ate nearly enough peaches & cream to kill [illeg.] yesterday moring before leaving home. By the way one of the Mississippians died at our house last Sunday from the effects of eating too much dinner. I have no fear of being killed in that way. I ate twenty one peaches day before yesterday while I was driving three miles. N. B. I hooked them.
I do not think it selfish to desire the undivided love of one, we are exactly alike in that
respect; few persons are capable of bestowing such affection as I would prise and if I could only gain the love on one I would bestow
on her such affection as few have ever even imagined. But in these days of dissimulation
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and patience falling in love or rather loving (which is something more substantial) is
a dangerous step. Such affection bestowed upon a flirt will render the bestower miserable for
his whole future life.
How much would I have rejoiced to have been your companion in that boat ride, for though inexperienced in nautical affairs, I could have aided perhaps with the strength of my arm and then I know with such company I could not but enjoy a boat ride even of infinite length. I cannot but hope that when this war is past we may yet sail on the lake together and freely confide in each other our thougts on the past and our plans for the future. But I fear I have already said too much and would try to change the subject to some one which might suit your taste more but that the tapping of the drum for Battlion drill [unclear: admonishes] me to close.
I know you will excuse all the [unclear: many] imperfections of this hasty epistle and write me a long letter very soon; a frank kind letter which will cheer my weary hours with many thanks for past kindnesses and as many hopes for like favours in the future. I remain as ever, most devotedly and unchangingly,
Your truest friend,
Clinton
