Augusta County: Mary Anna Sibert to David H. Evans,
October 28, 1867
Summary:
Sibert apologizes profusely for a misunderstanding between her and Evans which
has caused her a great deal of pain. She offers to provide a full explanation
when he next visits.
October 28 1867
Mt. Solon, Va.
Mr D.H. Evans
I have never [illeg.] Good bye feeling as unhappy as I did yesterday
Evening because I know you were leaving [illeg.] with wrong thoughts
against me regarding our proposed ride. If you could have read my heart,
& known my disappointment you would only have been pleased, &
not disappointed, nor would you have blamed me had I told you why I did not go
then. It was not that I thought people would say any
thing, for what could they say about me riding with you nothing at all & who's business would it have been but
yours & mine? I am one who does not care what the world says, or persons
think of what I do when I know I am right [illeg.] I know it would have
been right for [illeg.] horse back jaunt with [illeg.] but the
holy Sabbath, but [illeg.] reason I did not go. I will tell you [deleted: ] the truth why I did not, when you come Saturday a week,
& nothing but the truth then you will say you did me wrong by thinking
as
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you did I knew just what you would say about it that was why I
cried it grieved my very heart to have you misjudge me when I [illeg.]
it & you will say so when I tell you [illeg.] the world was
against you knowing [illeg.] do it would not keep me from giving [deleted: ], or from loving you, no I would only love you the more,
& go with you the oftener if that was the case, but it is not, for all
speak highly of you who know you. I would neither Thank, nor respect the person
(if my own dear father) who would come to me, & say one word of
unkindness against you, I could never esteem them again, nor would I have them
for a friend, that is my way of doing for those I love I don't like any one who
says any thing about them that is not just. If I could see your heart, &
read there that you truly believe [illeg.] was not what you said that
kept me [illeg.] riding, it would lift such a heavy [illeg.] my
heart. I would write you why I [illeg.] but I would rather tell you so I
could [illeg.] you, & have your answer from your mouth you will
laugh & call me vain. Ma told me to tell you
that when you come she will tell you her self
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& so will I, it
will not make you angry for you will then know why I said it was for your own
dear sake that I did not [illeg.] I loved you so truly. This [deleted: ] talk to you now but I will [illeg.] go [illeg.]
when you arrive, & will tell you [illeg.] did not go to church
whilst [illeg.] & that was for your sake too, as you shall hear
I know you will not love me less but love me more then
Ever. bless Ma she has been talking about you all day, says, she is afraid you
are in your store with no fire to warm you this cold damp day. Oh! how much I
would love to be with you to day I feel so lonely,
& unhappy. If I could see you now I would tell you all but I must wait
til you come which will seem ages to me two weeks Ma says you must come then, if
you don't come in a buggy just so you come, if you come in a conveyance of your
own we will if we [illeg.] go to Mossy Creek church. I will not [deleted: ] then indeed I will not I love [illeg.] you & I
do not go with any gentlemen [illeg.] not since I loved you. I would
[unclear: no][illeg.] you in
any thing because I love you
too well for that & some day if we live you will see & know that
I have not. I could not rest for thinking of what
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you said. I went off
to my self to cry & grieve after you left [deleted: ] not told you the truth when you [illeg.] never do so
again but will [illeg.] will understand &
[unclear: no][illeg.] I was so anxious to put [deleted: ] from you in the subject that [illeg.] Friday's mail to [illeg.]
Every thing for I am true you [illeg.] fear to love & trust me, so long as [deleted: ] God's help. I shall never deceive you
who I love above all others, nor will I tell you an untruth any time, or about any thing I [illeg.] you too devotedly
for that. Ma says the exercise you have been taking in your rides down here has
done a great deal to improve your health, & appearance. I think so my
self. come often then I am so proud of you. Oh! how I
do [illeg.] you. You are all all I want you to be but a true [deleted: ] & I will be all you would wish me to be. I will not do
& be what is not pleasant to you in my manners or dress. I have tried
your patience [unclear: long] enough in many ways. I could see that [deleted: ] so often have I done so, & you [illeg.]
complained. I do think you are the best [illeg.] the world, you
& my dear papa [illeg.] I will do so no more, but will be [deleted: ] & love to see a true lady be in Every respect [deleted: ] you will write to me by tomorrow's mail I shall be so [deleted: ] said [unclear: if]
[unclear: you] do not. Oh! love me will you? my heart aches so painfully
when I think I have grieved you or done any thing
you don't like. Ma, Rennie, & Ada send love Write to me soon. Come down Saturday if you live I will go with you any where in this world for I love you. I send a
loving kiss to you [illeg.] bless you is the prayer of
Yours
Mollie Sibert
Please do not throw your head back when you read this letter-- for I have written the truthful language of my heart I mean all I have said I am not going to Rockbridge tell Ella, all send love [illeg.] to her & children. I had [illeg.] today
