Augusta County: Mary Anna Sibert to David H. Evans,
September 17, 1868
Summary:
Sibert assures Evans that she does not believe he is cold, and discusses her
views on the ideal wife and husband. Wives must appreciate men's business
strivings, but husbands must not forget to love and honor their wives. Wives too
have the power to destroy the happiness of a marriage by behaving as selfish
"women of fashion."
September 17, /'68
Mt. Solon Va.
My Dear David
I did not, & do not think you are cold. I know you have a true &
affectionate heart. You are demonstrative but not so much so as I am it is my
nature to bestow upon those I love every demonstration of the deep affection I
feel for them. I love for you to know how dear you are to me, how devotedly I
love you at all times. I think as you do that the caresses of husband, or any
who love should be sacred to each other, & not for other eyes to see
& be amused at. You wrote in your dear welcome letter of the 15 very
beautifully & truthfully of woman's devotion to man it is our nature to
love long & well when we do love. I have thought man could love with the
same faithful affection. I know they have business affairs to fill their
thoughts, & occupy their time. Yet they should not cease to love the
dear ones at home who never forgets the husband. The wife does not forget her
love for her husband in all her domestic cares she loves & thinks of
him. It is true as you
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write that it depends in a great measure upon
the wife in having a happy & cheerful home. if she is true intelligent
& devoted to her husband thinking only of his comfort &
happiness looking to his interest in every way she will make him happy &
the greatest desire of her heart will be in trying to have his home all that his
heart could wish. she could make it the dearest & sweetest spot on Earth
to him. It is a wife's duty to her husband who is working daily for her comfort
& happiness that she should do all she can for his dear sake at home she
should love him with all her heart & stive to have home always cheerful
& pleasant for him, then he will enjoy it & feel what a blessing
to have a wife who loves & cares for him, that
is if he can appreciate her worth. but in return for
all this care & thought for the husband the wife would expect his love
& tender words to tell her how much he felt & appreciated her
love & thought for him. every true & loving wife does love
& appreciate her husband & all his toiling for her sake she
knows
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sees, & feels what he does for her every day of his
life, & she should appreciate all his efforts with her whole heart doing
all she can in return for his happiness. these are my ideas of what a wife
should be & I think the husband should not forget to love &
cherish her. I can imagine the disappointed heart of the wife you have pictured
in your letter, sad & very desolate must be such a life to a loving
& intelligent wife, not one smile, not one affectionate word or carress
from the only man who fills all her heart & thoughts, who she loves more
then her own soul, if such a fate was mine I should
pray to die. I could not live & drag out the long weary years away from
his love & heart. I suppose a wife must be contented with as much
affection as her husband can give her it is well! if she knows how to keep it
safely there are many cold natured & heartless wives in this world who
cannot love & honor their husbands & do not care to make home
happy. both heart & soul are filled with dress & fashion. They
think only of them selves. home has no sweet
& holy charms for them. They never think of the husband, his
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love, happiness, his comfort, his daily business toil & troubles are
all forgotten by the vain & unloving wife, & woman of fashion. I
have seen such wives I have a cousin who married just such a woman. To day he is a bankrupt in heart, & purse a sad
& most unhappy man. I cannot blame husbands for being cold &
silent when they have such wives. The wife is to be blamed in a case like this,
for all unhappiness at home I am glad Ella has forgotten your jest & is
your esteemed friend again as she has always been. she wrote that she was not
angry with you. I cannot bear to think that you & Ella are not true
friends. I want all I love to love you it would grieve me so much to feel that
it was not so.
Yes I will with a willing heart bestow upon you every demonstration of my devoted & unchanging love for you it is my nature, I love you & I must let you know how dear you are to me. I wish I could see you to day. I can love & think of you. I have no business to attend to which can make me forget that there is such a feeling as love in my heart for you. I think of you all the time & love you with my whole heart & soul, & ever shall while I live. The entire devotion of my heart is all yours. Yes I do love you more then all in this world. All send love. I send a loving kiss to you & a longing wish to be with you who I so dearly love. Pa has not come. May God bless you. Goodby. I love only you in this world
Yours,
Mollie Sibert
I send you a piece I cut from a paper yesterday so you can see that you think as others do about husbands & wives
