Augusta County: John D. Imboden to Annie Lockett,
November 13, 1870
Summary:
Imboden asks his new fiancee to accede to his preference for an early
wedding.
Sunday night Nov 13th 1870
Keysville
My darling-
To ensure a letter from you at the earliest moment, since you told me you would not write till you rec'd. a letter from me, I have managed to get a sheet of foolscap here, and before I retire will devote it to you.
I did not start a moment too soon this morning, as it occupied me all day hand mauling my mule to reach here a little
after dark. I only lost my way once, & I charge that to you - I was
singing & thinking of my Annie and permitting the mule to have its own
way when true to its instincts it took the wrong road & I lost a mile of
distance before I was set right. The way I came today was more of a wilderness
than the other route. I only met six people during the whole day - and the
country had an abandoned wilderness aspect, that would have made me sad, but for
the happy frame of mind I was in all day. Being quite sure that no one would
hear me in the wilderness, I gave expression to my happiness in singing, at
times as loud as the leader at a camp meeting. I sing all the hymns I knew,
& all the little snatches of good and sentimental songs I could
remember, and the whole day you were not absent
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from my thoughts 3
minutes. If you could fully realize how dear you are to me you would not wonder
that I am so urgent to make the time as short as possible before I bring you
away with me forever. In thinking over today my wonderful good fortune in
winning you, and how grateful I ought to be to have secured your love at all,
& then recalling the earnestness with which I begged you to consent to
our marriage in March after you had informed me how much you wished to have your
sisters present, it has occurred to me that you may have thought me too selfish
in thus trying to have you gratify my wishes at the expense of your own. And I
was almost sorry I had thus pressed you to do what might give you pain to comply
with. I am now conscious that I allowed my [deleted: own] impatience
to have you at the earliest day my own dear wife to
make me more importunate than I should have been to fix a day in March. And I
now feel that it is my duty to consult mainly your
pleasure in this matter and to rely upon your love for me to comply with my
wishes if you can do so without marring your own pleasure & that of your
sisters. You know my reasons for insisting upon our speedy marriage. You know
how earnestly I desire it. You know what a sacrifice of happiness it will be to
me to have that happy day delayed, and yet I would rather "possess my soul in
patience" and
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bear the anxieties of a longer time than to feel that I
had purchased one hour of my happiness at the price of any disappointment to you. Trusting wholly to your love to do what is right
& best for me & for you, I now wish to say that you must fix a
time that will confer most pleasure upon yourself, & should it be
further off than March I will try and be patient & not complain. The
assurance that you love me, and will one of these days be my precious wife,
ought to bring me happiness enough to sustain me waiting you own good pleasure
in naming the day for crowning our happiness - and it shall.
That sweet voluntary kiss you gave me this mornign as we left the parlor the last
time, when you stopped near the door, turned up your sweet face beaming
& radiant with love & confidence, not uttered, but spoken by
your eyes, to mine, is enough to live on & be happy for weeks to come. I
am not writing boyish nonsense to you, but simply expressing to you the devotion
of a heart that has passed through firey ordeals in the past, that have only
added to its tenderness. When you said to me yesterday that you would be mine, I
felt that life again for me was to be tinted with rose colors, and I felt for
you as I impressed the first kiss upon the lips that had first spoken me into
this renewed joyous existence, an
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unexpressible gush of tender love
for you that will never die in my heart or be forgotten. I do long for the time
to come when by all the sanction of the law & of religion you will be
mine, & folded in my arms you will no longer feel restrained by maidenly
timidity in telling me in words, over & over again, what I already know
in your acts, that you do indeed love me, better than all the world besides. I
know the worth of a true woman's love. I know how pure - how unselfish &
how exhaustless it is - and to be told again & again that this treasure
is mine will be more than a compensation for all the anxiety & all the
pain of the delay you may feel obliged to impose on me. How I wish you lived
where I could see you often. But as that cannot be you must write to me without
reserve and promptly in reply to all my letters. You told me you were not demonstrative. I want to teach you to become so. I
know you have deep & tender feelings. You must express them in your
words & acts both. Between us there must be no
reserve, but the freest and most [deleted: perfect] perfect exposure
of our hearts, each to the other. You will find me ever quick to respond in
sympathy & in words to every utterance from your heart. Henceforth you
are interwoven in my life. You are ever present in my thoughts, & every
act & every plan of my daily life will be considered in reference to
your happiness.
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When you hear from your sisters, write me all they say. I know the
disparity in our ages will be commented on. By your sisters not unkindly but by
others it may be. Do not let it annoy you. You will find in me as young a heart
as ever laid its inmost affections upon the altar of wedded love - and as our
future living will depend
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for their happiness, not upon what the
world may have to say but upon ourselves. I wish to begin early to teach you
what I have learned from a large & long experience, that the less we
heed the thoughtless expressions of the herd of mankind the happier we are.
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Now my own darling Annie goodbye! Be joyous & happy every
day. At your cousin's wedding I hope to hear you are as happy as the bride. I
don't know her but as your cousin I venture to send her a message. Tell her when
you move to Richmond she must come & see you & your husband and
see what a mistake she made in not marrying a widower instead of a young fellow.
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Give my love to all. In your own family
circle talk of me every day. I want my name henceforth to be a household word as
one of your family. God bless you always my darling
Yours forever
J.D.I.
